“A few days ago, I felt a bit unsettled and realized I was discouraged about some areas of my life where I saw no real progress, if not backward motion. I also realized that I was letting myself feel anxious instead of praying for guidance and trusting God to take care of me. On Friday morning, I journalled these thoughts at length and wrote out a list of things I could be grateful for in the midst of my challenges.

Half an hour later, when I picked up Resilience (a book I did the copy writing for last year), the reflection prompt I turned to was all about listing the things I’m worried about and feel that God may not take care of, perhaps because I see those needs as small and insignificant to Him. I marvelled at the coincidence but something much more significant dawned on me. I suddenly understood why I hesitate to take my needs to God, and I want to share this with you in case you can relate and are struggling with the same problem.

I wrestle with my worries and try to take care of my needs myself because I feel guilty. I feel embarrassed. I know that some of my concerns are the consequences of my own poor choices or my lack of discipline or my natural weaknesses and not bad luck or unpreventable circumstances. So I reason that if my needs are my fault, then I need to take responsibility for them and fix them myself instead of “burdening” God with them. I don’t want to take advantage of His kindness by asking Him to bail me out. We tend to frown upon young people who live irresponsibly and then expect their parents to solve their problems. I don’t want to be the prodigal. 

On one level, that might make sense. But it’s not a sustainable position because it’s a self-perpetuating problem. It’s like not going to the dentist when I have cavities because I don’t want him to see I haven’t been flossing. And the truth is, I am the prodigal. God already knows this. He already knows I’m weak and undisciplined and unwise (and loves me anyway). The question is, do I know it? Can I admit it? Will I humble myself long enough to go to Him and say, like a repentant child, “Papa, I messed up. Will you help me, please?”

Will I cling to these promises?

• If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
• He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion (Proverbs 28:13).
• The Lord is gracious and merciful; slow to anger and great in lovingkindness (Psalm 145:8).
• Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

And then there’s my favourite verse, which I’ve been working on memorizing: The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).

Yes, I think I will cling to these promises. I hope you will, too. Have a great Monday!”